Sinful?

Is the nightmare going to return to me? After one year.. I thought I have pushed it back far enough.. But now.. The deja vu makes it feels like yesterday.. When they all look at me differently over a night.. When she cried in front of them as if all fault is on me.. When they all buy her talks.. When he felt the pressure and started to ignore me.. Balless jerk.. You have no idea what have I been through after you stepped on my heart over and over again.. I turned from a A scorer to a fail student.. I turned from a good friend to a bitch.. The tears I cried compare with the pain in the heart.. Is nothing..

I was too greedy.. In the end I lost everything.. Love, friendship, respect and my heart.. Even now when I return to my previous college.. The look on their faces.. As if I'm a slut.. The way they talk to me.. Is never the same anymore.. My heart finds it hard to pump for anyone.. You don't expect a powdered heart to pump right?

Until he comes into my life.. Well.. It was so easy to talk to him.. He makes me feel like myself for once in my life other than with F7.. Friends? I don't think so.. Do you talk to a normal friend 24/7? Do you share everything to a normal friend your secrets and your dark past? No right.. Lovers? Erm.. No.. He has a gf..

I hate this.. The similarity freaks me out.. To think that they are brothers makes it even worse!!! Do siblings have same taste?@@ If yes, why I don't really like my sister's bf? If no, then why they erp.. Maybe it is just me that think too much.. I should really give this a break..

Headache.. Haiz..